Do not attempt to dissuade me from my assertion that most women's shoes today are torturous devices dreamt up by men carrying around too much baggage from the days when their mothers controlled their lives.

I won't name any names, but that ubiquitous stiletto of "Sex and the City" fame and its contemporary counterparts are simply for ladies of leisure and are not meant to be worn by anyone in an upright position, on the feet, for any length of time. And who can honestly say they lead a lifestyle that would be suitable for such accessories?

We are constantly confronted by the confections of a Jimmy Choo model, for instance, that should be delicately wrapped in tissue paper and stored in a temperature controlled environment for that rare occasion when one has a car and driver on hand, all day. This is not a shoe that will securely arm you for the daily battle of public transportation.

And when one does find a model that appears to be built to handle the mileage we rack up, going from home to the office, to lunch, back to the office, to the gym, to dinner, and back home again; we find that it does not necessarily fit our fine feet the way we had hoped.

The simple fact that eludes most shoe designers concerns the shape of a woman's foot. Our feet are wide at the ball of the foot and narrow at the heel, much like the body shape of an Olympic swimmer is wide at the top and narrow at the bottom. In their egocentric efforts to re-design the woman's foot, the popular shoe maker has created a rectangular-shaped clodhopper with all the grace of a Herman Munster platform boot. Another impractical option is the pointy-toed slipper that could seriously maim an over-anxious date. Where are our choices? (And don't get me started on color or decoration. Daring is the use of animal patterns.)

Men's shoes, though certainly lacking the sexiness quotient, are always offered in varying widths. We can only dream of a day when women are treated as equals and have that option. (I also like the idea of a non-skid bottom on the sole of every shoe, but beggars can't be choosy.)

As a recent month-long expedition left me well-equipped to discuss the finer points of shoe shopping, I feel I must share my new found knowledge with you, our faithful reader. Forget the Manolo Blahniks, Stephane Kélians, Roberto Cavellis, Robert Clergeries - I am after a sensible, fashionable, wearable dress loafer. No woman should spend any amount of time standing up in a shoe with a heel height more than 1".

Heed my advice:

• Have your feet measured, preferably by someone who knows how to work one of those foot-measuring contraptions. Of course, it won't mean a damn thing since shoe designers, like many clothing designers, have their own systems when it comes to sizes. But, it is a good place to start. I was shocked to learn I was back to a size 9 after years of buying a 9-1/2 or 10 and then stuffing the shoe with padded insoles.
• Fit the shoe for your larger foot. Trust me on this one. No, you are not a freak of nature. Everyone has one foot that is larger. Besides, you can always fill the ill-fitting shoe with insoles.
• Try on shoes at the end of the day when your feet are swollen. If the shoe fits too snugly when your feet are at their smallest, you will not be on your best party behavior by cocktail hour.
• Wear the appropriate legwear when you are fitting shoes. Of course, if you're smart enough to be a reader of this magazine, then you're smart enough to avoid wearing athletic socks when you try on pumps. Still, if you're buying a dress shoe that you would most probably wear with thin trouser socks, then that's what you should be wearing when you try on the shoes.
• At the shoe shop, spend some time walking in the shoes. If they are not comfortable, don't buy them. An attractive sale price should not be a selling point. Nor should the hipness quotient. And don't assume they'll be better after you break them in, because they won't. Don't buy them if they're too tight, thinking that they'll stretch. Having your big sister with the size 11 foot walk around in them will not possibly stretch them enough to a comfortable fit. But, do keep in mind that very stiff shoes will probably soften over time.
• How do you tell if the shoe is fitting properly? Take this test. Does the toe touch the wall of the toe box? Does your heel easily pop out of the shoe? If you answered in the affirmative, then the shoe is not for you. But, enough with the obvious. If you still have more questions, then follow the guidelines set forth by the American Orthopaedic Foot and Ankle Society.

Is it possible to find fashionable shoes that fit sensibly? Sure it is. There's a wonderful little shop in SoHo I recently discovered, with stunning merchandise and equally stunning price tags. Their delicious pumps, loafers, sandals, and boots can cost upwards of 1/2 month's rent.

Shelter? Or shoes?

A self-described slave to style, not fashion, Miss E. R. Kessler has been educated in the fields of interior design, foreign languages, fine dining, adventure traveling, and all-around advice giving.

She has also been known to wail like a banshee when she finds the right pair of shoes.